If you are a dog owner, you probably know there are certain activities you can’t do with your dog, but just in case were in doubt, here are eight that you might not have thought of.
1. Shower – Tempting as it might be to save time and hot water by washing your dog at the same time as yourself, taking your dog in the shower with you is a recipe for disaster. Studies have shown the mess-to-body-mass ratio when a dog is added to the mix is exponentially higher (increasing with the number of dogs) and professionals usually advise against it. Alternatively, and from personal experience, we recommend showering with cats.
2. Bring-your-dog-to-work Day on Construction Sites – For obvious reasons, animals on building sites are a liability and can cause hazards of various shapes and sizes.
3. Meditation Class – Dogs are renowned mediators, but bringing them to class can cause disruptions for others, such as allergies and distractions―especially for dog lovers and people who are terrified of dogs. We recommend thinking of others and leaving your dog at home when you go to meditation class.
4. Trance Parties – Most dogs are fine at social gatherings―such as dinner parties, BBQs, and baby showers―but loud music, psychedelic drugs, and dogs are not a good mix. We recommend leaving your dog with friends or family when going on a trance bender.
5. Yoga – Unless it a specifically ‘yoga-with-dogs’ discipline, doing yoga with your dog is unlikely to be positive experience. To get the best out of your yoga routine, we recommend sending dogs to their own yoga classes.
6. Baking – At the risk of making a gross generalisation, we are going to go ahead and say that dogs don’t make excellent kitchen assistants. Any long-haired dog is going to be a real liability (it’s hard to get a hairnet on a dog), and all dogs are likely to want to eat the raw ingredients.
7. Ice-skating – It sounds like fun, but having your dog on a leash when you go ice-skating can be dangerous. Not being able to easily put on the breaks while wearing skates can lead to accidents if your dog decides to take off. That aside, only certain breeds of dog are going to be comfortable on ice.
8. Paragliding – Although dogs, unlike penguins, were not made to be airborne, this is actually one you can do… as long as your dog consents. If your pooch really wants that ultimate wind-in-the-ears experience, it is actually possible for owners and their dogs to paraglide together!
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Sharnon Mentor-King is a freelance writer and editor from New Zealand, currently living and writing in Dharamsala in northern India. As well as kidnapping street puppies, she also writes bad poetry and excellent young adult fantasy. She has been working on her first novel, A Way to Return, for nearly half her life, and if she ever finishes it, it will be a miracle. Let us pray.